Monday morning arrived, and my inbox was flooded with emails from clients hoping to squeeze in a last-minute session. At first, I thought, this is a busier week than usual. Then I glanced at my calendar and realized why: Valentine’s Day was approaching.

Few days stir up emotions quite like Valentine’s Day. It’s a day saturated with messages about what love should look like, grand gestures, perfect romance, and effortless connection. And when our reality doesn’t match these idealized images, it’s easy to feel like we’re missing something, like love is just out of reach.

Some of my clients are celebrating their first Valentine’s Day as a couple, engaged, or newly married, excited about marking the occasion.

Others, in long-term relationships, are feeling disappointment-“He didn’t make a reservation in time, so we got takeout,” or “I was expecting a grand bouquet of flowers, and I was honestly really let down.”

And then there are those who are in the thick of heartbreak, navigating a breakup or divorce, or walking through life solo. For many, Valentine’s Day like most holidays can be triggering. It can stir up self-doubt and shame, amplifying the voice that asks:

What’s wrong with me? Why am I still single? Am I ever going to meet my person?

But here’s what I want you to remember: Love is not measured by a date on the calendar. You are not behind. You are not missing something. If Valentine’s Day brings up difficult emotions, that’s okay. Instead of resisting them, let’s explore how you can meet yourself with love and care.

Ways to Meet the Day with Intention

1. Connect with someone who makes you feel seen.

Love is not exclusive to romantic relationships. Make plans with a friend, a sibling, or someone who feels grounding to be around. If that feels too hard, even sending a thoughtful message to someone you appreciate can remind you that connection exists beyond romantic love.

2. Loving action

Prepare a meal for yourself or grab takeout from your favorite restaurant. Light a candle, put on music, and eat with intention. Watch a nostalgic movie, take a bath, or do a skincare routine-anything that helps you feel cared for.

3. Take a break from social media.

Set a boundary. Valentine’s Day is a marketing holiday, and the curated images you see online are not the full picture. You are allowed to opt out. If scrolling makes you feel worse, delete the app for a few days or limit your time online (You will survive!).

4. Journal your thoughts.

Let them out without judgment. Write about how you’re feeling, what you long for, or what you appreciate about your life as it is now.

5. Move your body with care.

If emotions feel heavy, movement can help shift stagnant energy. Go for a walk,

dance to your favorite song, stretch, or try a yoga class.

6. Try self-soothing tools to regulate your nervous system.

Breathwork: Box breathing (inhale for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for four,

hold for four) can calm your nervous system.

Tactile grounding: Hold a warm mug of tea, run your hands under cold water, or wrap yourself in a weighted blanket.

Aromatherapy: Light a candle, diffuse essential oils, or use a lotion with a calming

scent.

Gentle touch: Place your hand over your heart, give yourself a hug, and take deep belly breaths.

While there are things outside of our control, we can choose how we show up for ourselves. Love is not a grand performance or a gesture made on one designated day of the year.

Love is presence. Love is attention. Love is the way we meet ourselves in both the beauty and the mess of being human.

If Valentine’s Day feels like a hard day, meet it with intention, softness, and care.

Because whether you are single, partnered, healing, or grieving, you are worthy of love-starting with your own.