Last week's blog explored the father's wound. If you haven't read it yet, I encourage you to do so, as it provides a foundation for understanding how early relationships with our parents shape our lives.

This week, I am focusing on the mother wound, a deep and often painful imprint that affects our lives' emotional, psychological, and relational fabric.

The mother wound is not simply a result of a mother's lack of care or affection; it goes much deeper. It's the emotional trauma a daughter carries when her emotional needs were overlooked, dismissed, or invalidated by the person who was meant to nurture her.

It shows up in many ways: neglect, criticism, emotional unavailability, or a mother who projects her own unmet needs onto her child. The wound creates a longing for something that was never given, and it leaves its mark in ways that can affect self-worth, relationships, and even the ability to trust oneself.

For many, their first wounds are not inflicted by cruel outsiders, but by the ones who were supposed to protect them the most: their mothers.

The message that gets internalized is this: "I am not enough." This belief can take root and grow deep, becoming the foundation of a lifetime of self-doubt, shame, and unworthiness.

Over time, the daughter may abandon herself, prioritizing others' needs and losing touch with her own. The impact of the mother wound can manifest in various ways throughout life:

• Chronic people-pleasing: The pattern of trying to gain love or approval by over-giving, suppressing one's own needs to meet the demands of others.
• Perfectionism: A belief that love and acceptance are earned only through flawless performance, which can turn every mistake into a source of shame.
• Difficulty setting boundaries: Struggling to say "no" or put oneself first, either out of guilt or fear of rejection.
• Fear of abandonment: A deep-rooted fear that relationships will end if we don't please or perform for others.
• Fear of engulfment: Fearing that we'll lose ourselves in relationships, a result of trying to meet the needs of others at the expense of our own.

The emotional scars left by an unattuned or neglectful mother create a narrative that says, "You are not enough," or "You have to earn love." It is this belief that drives the perfectionism and people-pleasing behaviors many women struggle with.

The daughter learns that if she can be 'perfect', she will finally be seen and valued a deep longing to feel worthy of love. But the journey of healing the mother wound begins with acknowledging the pain and grieving what was not given. Healing requires us to sit with the grief of what we didn't receive, to name the loss, and to let ourselves feel the emotions tied to it.

This isn't easy, but it is necessary. It requires emotional bravery, allowing ourselves to mourn, feel anger, or even guilt about the mother we never had. Healing also means reclaiming your voice. For many daughters, their voices were silenced, either through neglect, emotional manipulation, or by constantly having to meet the needs of others.

To heal, we must begin to trust our inner voice once again. This involves learning how to set boundaries not just with others, but with ourselves. It means learning to say no without guilt, to put ourselves first without fear of rejection.

Part of this process is also about self-compassion, learning to be kind to ourselves, especially in the places where we've been hardest on ourselves. When we heal, we stop seeking validation from others, and we stop waiting for approval that may never come. We create healthier relationships and build deeper connections because we're no longer seeking to "earn" love; we're offering it freely, starting with ourselves.

Healing the mother wound is a journey of reclaiming all that was lost, of learning to love ourselves in the ways we were denied. It's about moving from the shadows of unworthiness into the light of self-acceptance and healing.

In my coaching, I teach you how to meet yourself where you are to listen to your needs, honor your feelings, and begin the healing process of the mother wound. You don’t need your emotionally immature mother to “get it” or to apologize for the pain she caused. The healing starts within you.

By learning to reclaim your voice, set healthy boundaries, and practice self-compassion, you can rewrite your life's narrative. You are not defined by what you didn’t receive, but by the love and care you can now give yourself. Healing this wound is about taking back the power you’ve always had, and learning to love yourself in ways that were never taught to you.